The Company We Keep
We are highly social creatures. Our lives center around our interpersonal relationships and our social groups. We pay attention to who has status, who is kind, and who should be avoided.
Even more fascinating, we mimic the people we like. We mimic their posture, rate of breathing, mannerisms, speech patterns, you name it. So, it should come as no surprise that many of our behaviors from smoking, to drinking, to gaining weight are simply a function of who we know. It is called "social contagion."
The New York Times has an interesting article on the subject:
By analyzing the Framingham data, Christakis and Fowler say, they have for the first time found some solid basis for a potentially powerful theory in epidemiology: that good behaviors — like quitting smoking or staying slender or being happy — pass from friend to friend almost as if they were contagious viruses. The Framingham participants, the data suggested, influenced one another’s health just by socializing. And the same was true of bad behaviors — clusters of friends appeared to “infect” each other with obesity, unhappiness and smoking. Staying healthy isn’t just a matter of your genes and your diet, it seems. Good health is also a product, in part, of your sheer proximity to other healthy people.I have always had the suspicion that people who cheat on their spouses are friends with other cheaters. I don't have any data to back this up, but given what we know about social contagion and our desire to conform to the norm, it would not surprise me at all.
5 comments:
Very interesting theory. It has some reasonable foundations. Perhaps there are/will be studies that can help solidify this!
I don't have a study on this, but anecdotally I can tell you that almost all of my husband's, (an almost, sometimes, mostly in the mind kind of cheater) friends have been unfaithful at one time or another. Several are serial cheaters and I am very bothered by the pattern.
Wow, I just found your blog. I need to read all of your blogs. I've found two things so far that really hit home to me. Thank you
interesting........... when i discovered that my husband was cheating i was like everyone else devastated. I, again, like most women began to dig - i wanted to know all of the truth. i broke into his email. additionally i checked into his cell phone usage. when he would see her he would always call her when on the way home to me, he was however, also phoning his best friend right after he phoned her. i then, one evening, overheard him talking to this same friend. "yeh man, i got sloppy and got caught. i ruined a perfect life - the old lady at home and good piece of cheap a** on the side".
I confronted the friend, as i had long considered him a friend of 'ours'. after my telecon he blocked my number from calling his home number. i am sure he was worried i would alert his wife.
what has become of our family values? what happened to the standard that a man was suppose to be the families protector? the devastation that inflicted upon the children, IF, they learn of it - unbelievable, so sad, so very very sad.
does a cheater will always be a cheater?
i caught my bf cheating on me numerously with his chatting girls and smses and he kept saying sorry and he promised that it is just lust and meaningless. i know that is a lame reason but i forgave him with conditions that i will dump him if next incident occur. as predicted, he did it again and i lost count of it.lol.
so, based on your knowledge, can a cheater stop this sickness.
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