Nov 27, 2006

The Dilemma of Sex

Sex is very important in a romantic relationship. In fact, being happy with one’s sex life is directly linked to having a healthy relationship.

For most couples, their sex life is a very good indicator of how things are going in their relationship. And of course, the lack of sexual activity should raise some warning flags.

But, the problem with sex is that even in the best of circumstances couples have less sex over the course of time.

Sexual activity involves many different components – including emotional intimacy, physical arousal, and the thrill of excitement. And while sex with the same partner can become more emotionally enriching, it’s nearly impossible to maintain a high level of thrill seeking as the years go on.

In fact, it’s hard to maintain a high level of stimulation when any task becomes normative. This phenomenon is very widespread, but it’s probably the easiest to in its extreme form – that is, with any type of addictive behavior. Addicts always need more stimulation in order to achieve the same “high” – whether it involves drugs, alcohol, exercise, gambling or whatever. Essentially, more is never enough.

So, while repeated sexual activity may deepen an emotional connection between two people, it tends to put a damper on the level of excitement that can be achieved. And this is where a problem can emerge. For some people, a high level of excitement is very rewarding. Some people are tempted to cheat not because of any problem in their relationship, but simply because cheating helps certain individuals satisfy their need for excitement.

I am not trying to make excuses for anyone’s behavior, but I am merely trying to provide an explanation for one type of cheating: Cheating which is fueled by excitement and thrill seeking. This is also known as the Coolidge Effect.

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