Dec 29, 2006

Taking on the Perspective of the "Other Person"

If the estimates are correct, many people will cheat on a spouse at one time or another. So, it is probably safe to assume that many people can take on the perspective of a cheating spouse; they have first hand knowledge of how it feels - a combination of stress, anxiety, excitement, pleasure and guilt.

And given our psychological make-up, where we can more readily view our ourselves as victims rather than perpetrators of harm, it is somewhat easy for people to empathize with a faithful spouse who has been cheated on. Imagine what it feels like to discover that your spouse has been cheating on you? A mixture of shock, betrayal, anger, rejection and humiliation.

But, have you ever wondered what it's like to be the "other woman or man?" To be single and to be involved with someone who is married?

A viewer recently brought two websites to my attention - which examine affairs from the perspective of the "other person."

Here you go:


Anonymous said...

Any woman who betrays the sisterhood of women by being willing to break up a family unit for her own selfish pleasure deserves no consideration.

Anonymous said...

Well put.... AMEN! They have not only betrayed their spouse, but their own children, close friends and most importantly, themselves. They lack dignity, self respect and are simply living for self gratification, dismissing all who really matter in the lives they built.

Charlotte (Lilly) said...

Typical...blame the other woman. Funny though, you leave out the husband. The one who really owes you loyalty, honesty and respect. Guess it's OK for him to have his cake and eat it too? Poor dumb chump was 'seduced' by a home-wrecking whore, I assume?

Look, I'm not condoning anyone's behavior, but I've been on both sides of the fence with this. Years ago I had the same frame of mind as anonymous. Unfortunately, it's not that simple and the phrase, "never say never" comes to mind.

I know maybe a few of the women are as you described, but the majority of the ones I've been in contact with are anything but. Another good site that deals with this issue is Baggage Reclaim. I would say most of us have low self-worth...who else would settle for crumbs or being second best having their lives remain in limbo for years hanging on lies and fantasies?