Jan 2, 2007

Women's Views on Love and Marriage

Relationships are always difficult. Being close to someone else brings rewards, but it also creates tension. And as I have posted in the past, not everyone belongs in a modern day romance.

Personally, I believe that our expectations about love and romance are out of touch with reality. While being in love is great, love does not solve the problems people face.

And despite the average $30,000 wedding, many couples end up unhappy.

Unfortunately, a new survey of married woman being released this month by AOL and Woman's Day also brings home that point.

Here are some of the highlights of that survey:

  • 36% of the women surveyed said that they would not marry their husbands if they had to do it all over again.
  • An additional 20% said they were not sure if they would marry their husband again.
  • 76% of the women reported keeping secrets from their husbands.
  • 49% suspect their husbands of cheating at one time or another.
  • 76% fantasize about having sex with other men.
  • 39% admit to constantly flirting with other men.


What's in a name? said...

If you like to study such relationships, perhaps you can start with me.

I'm the escape for the married man.

Anonymous said...

You said that

"I believe that our expectations about love and romance are out of touch with reality"

This speaks volumes. Amorous love, depicted in novels and the film industry, and spoon fed into us since adolescence is the most harmful form of conditioning ever perpetrated in men and women. While sex is indeed a powerful force, Patrick Love mentioned another in her book, "The truth about Love"

“When you meet a strong candidate for love, your limbic system is flooded with a powerful chemical concoction–so powerful that scientists now believe that the euphoria of infatuation is a bona fide altered state of consciousness”.

It is this altered consciousness that gets us into trouble. We assume that just because falling in love FEELS good, it must be good. Well, most drug addicts would say the same thing regarding illicit drugs. From my own experience, when you love someone too much, you are setting yourself up for a grave disappointment and it can happen at any time. What we feel and believe to be love is not love at all, rather an illusion. Of the few who break free from this illusion, and as painful as it was, they’ve suddenly discovered that there is more to love and life than what their parents and those before them were lead to believe. Like a recovering alcoholic who no longer drinks, the awakened ones can never return to love as they did before since it was never love in the first place. They recognize that romance novels and movies become distorted interpretations of love. They never offer anything new or truly meaningful of what amorous love ought to be. Instead, they give a plethora of illusions that appeal to those still under the spell of romantic love and like an addict, they continue watching, continue reading love stories in hope they too will have a happy ending in their own lives. It’s sad when you read the profiles of men and women and the lack of emotional depth in their words. You also see the despair and the loneliness in so many of them mainly because they are tired of playing the game, tired of getting hurt. They assume it’s their fault for not being good enough at it, or not being well endowed enough in all the right places, but it never occurs to them to just stop playing. Akin to the Matrix, there is a bitter pill men and women must swallow. If they don’t the evolution of amorous love will continue unheeded.


The Relationship Company said...

Wow! cool article......