Mar 4, 2007

Time to Separate?

An article in the Montgomery Advisory does a good job of highlighting the issues couples should consider as they decide to stay together or separate. The advise given is based on well-supported research.

Some of the issues couples should consider:

  • The amount of negativity couples express toward each other.
  • Equity when it comes to doing the work that needs to get done.
  • Mutual respect and consideration each other's point of view.
  • A lack of fun or enjoyment in being together.
The entire article can be found here... And for more articles on the same topic - Questions Couples Should Consider...


Anonymous said...

I am a very attractive woman of forty, who looks much younger then my age and who is educated and very interested in lots of hobbies. I am currently single, although I get asked out alot. I have a job that has me traveling in a new country almost every year, in the last 4 years I have lived, thus in four different countries. I love this, I love my life, I love learning new languages and skills and I have an easy time meeting people and making friends.Many people perceive me as very warm. I maintain alot of freindships via email and all in all, this will continue for at least two more years. I am happy with this and I don't plan on having children as it seems that that is not in the cards.
However, I am concerned about one thing,although I seem warm on the outside, inside I feel very clear about what I want, so clear that recently a person I jilted told me I am "judgemental" (the person who told me thishowever, is quite dishonest) It really hit a nerve though. I am very picky with my freinds, in terms of who I get close to. I am very hot and cold with lovers and freinds who I find...dishonest with others, or slightly manipulative. I am very hard on myself, and due to having to be so independent all the time, abroad, I tend to hold myself to very high standards in terms of how I treat people and how I want to be treated, living abroad has taught me that if you don't protect yourself you can really be unhappy...what happens is, when I am in a new place, and I make a new freind, or meet a new man I am interested, and then, if in getting to know them, I find qualities that I dont' like, self-pity, or manipulativeness I just.....shut down and try to get less involved.

My concern this in the range of normal? I feel like I am getting a bit too independent, but maybe I just really am picky about who I get close to, being abroad is really difficult sometimes and it makes me feel like I need to be very clear about my boundaries. I do have many good freinds, but I tend to really screen people, my concern is that I am getting...cold...that I should be less choosy, given the lifestyle I lead...what do you think?

Anonymous said...

I have a friend she has only been married to her husband for 2 years. He has been cheating on her for three years. She has caught him at least twice that I know of, cheating on her. I wish I could convince her that she should end the relationship. They are not happy together and she is the one who will be burned in the end.

I have even tried anonymous texts and calls to let her know but he is a great liar. HHe doesn't love her at all but I know she still loves him. Casey Reynolds has been sleeping around with girls a couple times a week that I know for a fact. Katie needs to open her eyes and start the divorce. Luckily there are no kids involved so it could be a somewhat easy break. If anyone has any ideas on how to tell her its over i would appriciate it.

I have been cheated on before in the past and know that once a cheater always a cheater. This wasn't a drunken mistake its an ongoing love affair with another woman. I hope she opens her eyes and drops him.