Mar 26, 2008

Cultural take on infidelity

Reactions to infidelity in the US as compared with other cultures:

But American D-Days are even worse because we have such improbably high standards for marriage. If your spouse cheats, you’ve been living a lie. Americans describing their D-Day experiences say that they weren’t just shocked, jealous and profoundly upset, but that their whole view of the world had collapsed. “It robs you of your past,” one husband said. “What is real? What is fake?”

We Americans are particularly preoccupied with honesty. We’re the only country that peddles the idea that “It’s not the sex, it’s the lying.” (In France, it’s not the lying, it’s the sex.) America is also the only place I found that has a one-strike rule on fidelity: if someone cheats, the marriage is kaput.
The entire article from the New York Times.

2 comments:

akakarma said...

Mine isn't kaput so far. My visions of trust have shifted and I think towards a more realistic place. SOme would say that is sad, like my hubby, but I think wisdom is not necessarily innocent or blinded by idealism.

Hosea said...

"One strike"? Oh for heaven's sake ...!

My wife has managed five lovers [that I know about] in twenty-five years, but we are still married. Has it been incredibly painful? You bet. But we are both way too stubborn to quit so easily. And I agree with the previous commenter that it is possible to love someone without being "blinded by idealism" ....