Sep 26, 2009

Empathy

Empathy, or concern for others, is critical for maintaining a healthy relationship. Yet a lot of research shows that empathy varies widely from person to person – some individuals are highly concerned about another’s well-being while some people hardly care at all. And an individual’s level of empathy seems to be stable – it doesn’t change over time. Life would probably be much easier if people dated someone who matched their level of empathy. Instead, we seem to pick our partners based on a host of other traits (physical appearance, charisma, chemistry, etc.), only to discover that empathy is what matters in the long run.

11 comments:

cheatbuster said...

Strange how we can so randomly filter out something that ends up being so important! Could it be that we're conditioned in life to think the way we do? An interesting post!

adriana derry said...

i think that empathy does change over time. people are not the same throughout their lives. we learn, grow, experience life and are different people throughout the years.

Anonymous said...

So what do you do when you are highly concerned about your spouses feelings, but what he needs me to give him are too hurtful to me? Constant comparisons of people to give him comfort. All this does is makes me want to crawl into a dark spot and stay there. I can't handle the constant needing to compare - even during sex. What about my needs?

Anonymous said...

I've just been cheated on by my boyfriend. He says he doesnt know why he did it. We havent been together long but we both are so happy together. before he did this we would always say how crazy it is that we are this happy with each other. before it happened he would tell me he loved me and we talked about living together. He says that he thinks he did it because he was scared of how fast are feelings have developed not that he is scared and doesnt want this. He keeps telling me it wont happen again and that he cant be without me and that he wants to spend his life with me. He has given me his passwords to all of his accounts so i can check them, but i feel weird about doing that. Is it possible to cheat even though you are happy?

Orion! said...

I really like this. So true.

orion40m said...

I love this post. I often make a comment that often times one person puts a higher value on their own wants, needs, and desires over the heart and feelings of their partner. I find these people to be selfish and uncaring. Empathy (giving and recieving) is of very high value to me in a relationship.

kimeeluv said...

Yeah.. they're called mirror neurons. It helps us show empathy to to others...

(good pot)

Deviant and Fragile said...

I really liked this...

Nancy said...

I was writing an article and SHOCKED at how easy it was to find places on the internet to find people to cheat with! I don't know if the sites are real - or made up to make money - but looking at one site (marriedbutlooking.com) - i read some of the profiles of the women that cheat - they're mostly just looking for excitement, something out of the ordinary - a high note on the regular hummmmmm of their days. They don't want to hurt anyone, they don't want to love anyone - they just want some excitement.

Anonymous said...

You are so right in what you say. Personally I feel that the most important trait in a long run is empathy. Without empathy it is very hard to solve problematic situations in a relationship. What is it that makes us fall in love with people who are abusive and narcissistic? If you are interested in reading more about this topic and get feedback and support for your situation, visit this page to read personal experiences of people who have experienced narcissism and cheating in a relationship: http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/personal-stories-narcissistic-spouse.html

Keep up the good work with your blog! I will keep following you.

Warm hug,
Maria

Male Escort said...

this is indeed a great information!! Probably this is the biggest reason why people end up heart broken.. because all they never see in their mental and emotional compatibility!!